its the 15th

today is my original due date given to me 36 weeks ago. i have passed the due date my current doctor gave me.  let me share a few things ive tried to induce labor. i ate a pineapple, yes an intire pineapple. walked, nothin… sat around, sparked a few… chiropractic, nothin, accupunture 3 times by 2 different docs, still nothin… and finnally hypnotherapy, got a few good ones out of that. i went home with the mind set that today is the day.  the hypnotherapist said i have it set it my mind that today, the 15th , is my actual due date and my body believes it shouldnt come till today. makes sense. i have pictured my baby being born today. last night i was contracting ready to go to the hospital the second things picked up. i was in tears thinking about how long its taken to get here and how excited i was to meet my baby.  unfortunatly no one else believed me when i claimed this could be it. erick even fell asleep (at 8:00) after some discouraging attitude while timming contractions for me. sure they were still far apart but they were strong and my body was working hard to bring them together. i finnally said im done with this and gave up my mind set that today will be the day. i focused my energy tward anger and resentment for feeling very alone. at that moment i had my last contraction. i went to bed in tears knowing i wouldnt have baby today because who wants to have a baby when they feel so alone. i do have a doc appt today but im not excited like most days. i was schedualed to be induced today but i called up and cancled it tuesday simply because thats not what i wanted for myself. i was sure i could find another way. im afraid my doctor might lay down the law with me. he really believes the longer i go the more im begging for a repeat c-sec. i cant find another doc in oklahoma who will excet me due to high risk/ insurance reasons. i have no expectations at this point. if it comes today like ive wanted all along thats wonderful. if i have to be induced at a later date so be it. im sure one thing wont change and thats how emmotional and alone i felt at a time i could have used some major suport. i dont know if this means a life time of resentment because im trying to rid my soul of that.  no one wants to look back at a time of wonderful firsts and cry. so, with that all said i miss everyone. i miss my church and my kids. i havnt been the main care taker of my children in months since the bed rest. we miss eachother badly. i miss my brain, yes it left me at some point and a mush ball has replaced it. i miss having control of my emmotions, but i never had complete control in the first place. this might seem like a giant pitty party for myself but i have many many blessings and this baby will be one of them. its just easier on me to write frustrations than to try to sort them out in my head. i figured some day i could write a good drama novel.

its a boy!

at least in my dreams it is. i had a dream last night it was a boy. it was cute and squishy and looked like brian. only problem was we werent in a hospital we were at home. i dont know if its a sign   (about it being a boy). im pretty sure its an old wives tale. i never had a dream with the other two kids that leaned to a boy or girl.

 my mother in law is here right now. she is cleaning house for me! she even folded clothes for me. tomorow is our 38 week check up. cant wait to see if anything has happend. just please God, not this Friday (our anni) or sunday.  of course God knows best and if baby is ment to be born on one of those days then ill be ok with it. id rather it cook a little longer i think. i only have aprox 15 more days. doc wont let it go over 40 weeks so i really want things to start picking up naturally and not have to get drugs to induce or another c-sec. 

37 weeks 4 days.

today is our last bradley class :( i love our teacher heather cooper. every time we go to her house her daughter ruby who is 19 months old i think, comes to greet us. we are the only people in our class so its easy to have a more personal relationship with heather.

heather loves to run and erick has been concidering running. some of the people he works with run sat mornings around lake hefner. we bought him a comfy running outfit. my guess is its going to be hard to take up running with little sleep from a newborn. ive heard running is a great destresser but i personally dont think i could do it.

 well im 37 weeks 4 days pregnant. ive been violating my semi bedrest order so i can walk around. yesterday the weather was soooo nice with a cool breeze and cloud coverage we walked up and down our street. some neighbors came out curious if i was in labor. yesterdays walk among other things did sparks lots and lots of contractions. they werent painful but my stomach was rock hard. erick took me to get a mani pedi. this is going to sound crazy but i had a dream i had the baby and i had my toe nails were painted green. so i went and got them painted green, a very gender nutral color.  now im almost ready to have the baby. i go to the doc again thurs. i hope he gives me good news. even if i have to slip him a twenty to lie to me, i want good news.

im stuck

im literally stuck in bed lol. my back has frozen up on me but thankfully it didnt happen untill the kids were fed and put to bed. i didnt start having back problems until the end of my second pregnancy. im pretty sure its self inflicted because i just cant keep from lifting my kids and doing a lot of bending over. who can resist carrying and holding a precious toddler?  anyways i have another chiropractor appointment at 4 and my mom said she will be here by the time the kids wake up to help out. i love my chiropractor appointments and now a’ days it does a lot more than just make me feel better. it also helps align baby. after my last appointment baby dropped that day! of course that added more discomfort but its good knowing my body is doing what its supposed to do.

   i did a silly online quiz to see when baby will be born. it said 7lbs 5 oz between july 8th-12th. my father in law said 8lbs 4 oz july 10th. erick says july 2nd which is our anni so thats a no. Chinese callender says its a girl. i dont really believe those things but it entertains me when im stuck. by the way, does anyone have any good girl names???? our middle name will be ann.  it needs to go good with brian, emmalee, and of course marshall :)

our lives now

our daily life right now is busy.  kids wake up early, i make them some cereal ussually special K with sliced bananas with a side of blueberrys and a sippy of OJ. play till 11 then lunch of pb and j or turkey sandwich on whole grain bread with a side of apple sauce. nap time! ussually 2-3 hrs and by the time kids wake up my mom is here to take over for me. im spent by that time. she plays with them and does dishes until erick gets home around 6. i make dinner and have it ready for him. dinner is a meat ( need protien) and a veggie, salad, and piece of apple. 8 is bedtime for kids and erick dissapears into our closet/office to play WOW (world of warcraft). the rule is midnight he has to get off but its ussually a little past. in that case he quickly shuts it down once he sees im up for my midnight bathroom and kitchen trip.  he’ll say time got away, i might give him the stink eye if i have the energy then we go to bed.

  in 1 week he is going to stop playing wow so he can get a full night sleep just incase i go into labor at night. wouldnt want to wake up at 1 in labor and he just be getting to bed. 

  ever since i had our first born ive let erick play WOW from 9-midnight during that 1st year while baby cant sleep through the night so he can take care of baby if it wakes up. we have found erick works his best if he is already awake and not woken up. im the oposite i need rest and waking up isnt a  big deal. speaking of im pooped. g’ night all!

my bradley classes

erick and i have 2 more bradley birth class’s left. we have learned soooo much. the bradley method encourages relaxation rather than panting or rythemic heavy breathing to make it through labor. i guess now a’ days people are saying the breathing techniques actually cause drops or rises in both mama and baby’s heart rate leading doctors to question if baby is in danger so a c-sec can be the end result.

   its so wonderful to be able to rely on my husband for my strength during a time im going to very vunerable. bradley method uses the husband as the coach and spine of the intire process. erick has been practicing his encouraging phrases, learning how my body handles stress and is able to identify signes that im in pain. he loves to be man in charge and is ready to confront any nures/ doctor who thinks our natural styles are crazy.  from what i hear most nurses or doctors just arent very familiar with the natural birth process because it really doesnt happen that often. erick is positive everything will be smooth as butter, happy faces, in and out… but since ive been in and out of hospitals most of my life, im pretty sure its going to be a battle.. i know negative thinking wont help but over time ive developed a realistic mind set so i wont have to be disapointed. im ussually right on, however we get to tour the hospital next thurs and ill get a better feel for the labor and delivery workers.

oh! i wanted to upload a copy of our birth plan. ill try to do that. but i put stickers all over the birth plans that will be handed out to nurses and the doctor because stickers make people smile! i figured it will be a great way to make them smile while reading a natural birth plan that might make them question my sanity. who doesnt like stickers?

anyways we pretty much copied our bradley coach’s birth plan but added in a c-sec plan and added a few other things. erick is also prepared to deliver in the car! ahhh!

hi all

hello everyone, im up early with some pain and pressure very similar to two weeks ago when i made the trip to tulsa. i can tell once again i over did it yesterday. erick drove me to my mothers where i layed on her couch untill he was done at the church and then we all went out to eat with his parents. i went from sitting, to laying to sitting again but still way to much activity for this little baby.

  so i figured id tell yall a funny story. a couple of days ago myself and the kids were out way early in the morning on our back porch ( me laying on the love sofa). i let them play before it gets to hot for me to be out there. brian was sweeping the patio because at his age its fun and emmalee was pulling the old stickers off of there machanical school bus they ride around. she would crinkle it up and throw it on the ground and brian would come up behind her singing the clean up song and clean it up. well i decided to close my eyes (not sleep) and relax a moment but i felt a little tap on my knee. emma was holding her hand out for me and crinkling some stickers to give to me. i figured oh how sweet she is trying to clean up so i lay out my hand and she drops a still twitching huge spider in my hand she had found and crinkled up! i immidiatly drop it and try not to scream as i stare at it while it dies. she looked so hurt like i didnt like her gift and she kept trying to pick it back up to give to me. i had to scoop it up and toss it in the grass. i cant believe it didnt bite her! im so thankful she has her own guardian angel. after the shock wore out it made me laugh how she isnt afraid of anything at this point. i love them so much

time keeps creeping by

4 weeks 6 days until my expected baby.  why cant it be today :(   i promised myself i wouldnt try to rush this pregnancy because i felt emma (born at 38 weeks) was to tiny at 7 lbs 6 oz then droping a lb wich is kinda normal. but i gotta say at just 35 weeks pregnant i want this kid out! ill compromise at say 3 more weeks but after that im charging rent. if i could shop or organize it would fly by im sure. im finding myself changing font size and decorating my lists. ive been studying up on my camera and made some changes. im going bonkers. i was on full bed rest when i was pregnant with brian at just 4 weeks pregnant. i dont remember being this uptight about it and im not even on full bedrest.

  right now my kids are shooting old passifiers out of there mouths and across the room. it must be pretty fun because they sure are laughing hard. neither one use passifiers any more but digging through daddys drawer they found some really old ones. wow whats that smell…. someone needs a diaper! i bet its brian…

  speaking of potty training was going decent. we had a nice introduction to it but im waitting till baby is born to go hard core. erick was telling 16 month old emma that we poopie in the potty not our diapers. lol. it was funny. i think we have another year before ill try with her unless she takes interest. 

Birth plan

ok, so our birth plan goes something like this. my signs im in labor are simple. i get this question all the time. how do i know when to take the 2 hr ride to the hospital? well there are 5 major steps that any pregnant woman can use. 1) eat food- not alot because if it is labor it can come back up. 2) drink water- make sure the body is hydrated and that dehydration isnt the cause of contractions. now 3 and 4 are walk and nap but do the oposite of what you were doing when the contractions began…. if you were laying down when they started then walk and visaversa. and finnaly shower- sometimes the water will stop contractions and if you are in labor your clean! im alowing 30 min to accomplish all of these steps but most women could probably wait an hr or longer. now the contractions have to be regular about 3 min apart and if those 5 steps didnt slow down or stop the contractions its probably labor. at that point id wake or call erick.

  some people seem to think the water needs to break to indicate labor, not so. there are many many cases where the water doesnt break util the baby is about ready to make its entrance into the world. some doctors will break it once labor is confirmed to help push it further along but its typically not nesesary.

after waking erick i would check to make sure we had everything, he would get himself and the kids dressed and call his parents that we are heading out. about a 30 min process so an hr would have passed of regular strong contractions. OR if he is at work ill get the kids ready and everything accounted for and it will take him 30 min to get here. 2 hr trip to the hospital dont worry, we have puppy pads incase my water breaks on the road and most bags are already in the van.

his parents will meet us at the hospital and will be staying at a hotel next door to the hospital where they will keep our kids. we have a doula that will meet us at the hospital to coach erick to coach me. my mother will be staying at our house to watch our puppy.

we arent using induction because- it CAN cause to strong of contractions squeezing the baby to hard which can slow down its heart rate so the docs would do a c-sec very common….       it CAN cause to strong of contractions which could cause me a 2 time c-section vet to hemorage.   also its unnatural… our bodys make the real deal and sometimes it takes a day or two but the job ussually gets done naturally.

we arent using an epidural because- it CAN (not always) slow down labor because the mother no longer has strong urgers to push or bear down. it also comes with uncertainty and  sometimes complications.

most women fall victom to doctors who demand the baby is in danger because it hasnt delivered in a certain amount of time or are told the baby is to large to be delivered naturally or is turned wrong, or mom is dialated and needs to deliever baby now…. all reasons doctors use to give c-sections sometimes so they can be home in time for dinner or make the family vacation. fortunantly erick and i are fully aware of that infact we have 1st hand experience and dont buy into any of that now . (not saying there arent cases when a c-sec isnt nessesary but most of time are preventable) we are pretty educated as to when a c-sec is actually nesesary. we dont think our doc is one of those docs he has been very successful with vbacs. that is also why we have a well educated doula. our doctor prides himself in succesful vbacs but has assured us that an oporating room will be open if a TRUE EMERGENCY happens and we need it.

so after baby is born we come home love it, kiss it, love our older ones and kiss on them, bond, take pics, try to sleep and praise God the entire time.

p.s. just a word of caution for anyone whos doc recomends induction or c-section, educate yourself most reasons arent good reasons and can harm the bonding experience between mom and baby AND harm the growth and apriciation that happens in the marraige by not experiencing the natural birth. watch the business of being born. its a great movie my friend Christy introduced to me and my Bradley coach. p.s.s. look into a bradley coach its thought is based on the husband being the coach and using good nutrition and relaxation to labor and push out baby.  all c-sec veterans should look into joining ICAN. get second third and forth opinions. dont pic a doc because your friend uses him/her . concider a midwife there are great ones at OU who deliver in the hospital with a doc present or you can see about a home birth with a midwife but thats a bit much for some people but a great experience from what i hear even from my own step mother and her 6 deliveries, one being twins. got questions? ill try to answer them or find someone who can.

the last few days

the last couple days have been tough. lots of pain when i eat, sleep, breath, walk… the rash is still slowly spreading but really only itches bad if i get hot or take warm showers. erick took me out to eat yesterday which we now know what a bad idea. the sun hit my body and the itchy began. the car ride sparked contractions and not being able to lay down for an hr cause a lot of pain. it could be worse… i could have pre eclampsia or the itchy could be all the time.. baby could be head up lots of stuff could be worse but im so thankful its all ok . all things i can deal with.  wow time barely creeps by when im stuck in bed most of the time and i cant do my normal activities. 5 weeks 5 days till due date which seems like forever but im sure it will come. lots of people are worried about us waitting till im in labor to drive to tulsa and have our baby… dont worry… im scared too lol. i dont have any comforting words to my family and close friends. its scary and it will be hard but thats ok it can be done. i get a lot of what if questions that i really cant answer just speculate how we would do things. i can promise we will make smart choices and we have weighed our pros and cons with facts. lots of people want us to share our pros and cons or what we are thinking but all i can say is we know what we are doing so i dont want anyone to worry badly. prayer is all we really need right now and smiles. i would love some smiles and happy thoughts. ill post our hospital plan soon.