blah blah blah

well, ive got the blahs… hard to believe i have time to get the blahs but ive got them.  no energy or appetite, and its hard to stay awake….hard to sleep too. my poor kids can tell too. i try to hide it. its no wonder that im down. ive had some trying holidays. ive lost a lot. i lost my cousin, lost my dad (not literally.. he got married) and now ive lost some values in some important relationships. what keeps me up is looking forward to the near future. like tonight we get to go to my inlaws for dinner. collin is near sitting up and crawling, emma has a birthday coming up, and my kids have beautiful smiles all the time. Friday im hoping my in-laws can keep the two oldest while erick and i catch a flick and sleep in sat morning.

 its almost as if the world is zooming by and im just along for the ride with little control. dont worry, ive had lots of experience with the blahs through out the years and this aint nuthin. just a road block for the moment. regaining some control and bringing back some values in relationships that were taken for granted will fix it all. only problem is, its not up to me. im just along for the ride.

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